Sometimes, it’s hard to navigate life’s systemized approach—one that asks too much of us to fit into neat boxes of achievement and to conform to the looking glass through which others see us. As a little radical and unconventional being, I’ve had to be conscious about my decisions. Am I rebelling against a system that no longer works or fits the way I want to live? Or do I know there is something more? Both can exist at the same time. And that’s where I sit still and ponder: Is this where I figure it out—in the in-between? The never-ending process of life that transfigures through different ongoing stages?
At times, I fear this is how it will always be—keeping my eye on the prize while feeling like I’m swimming in place. Some days, like today, it feels especially heavy. In these moments, I’m reminded of the human experience. I ask for love, faith, and grace because when the shoreline feels so far away, it’s hard to keep going. But perhaps the in-between is just that—the diligence to pursue our dreams, knowing that each decision, each pause to reflect and rest, and each step will somehow bring us closer. And then, when we want something new, we begin again. That thought is daunting and never-ending—some journeys are short, others long. But I guess that’s what makes us part of nature, with different accelerations and modes to blossom and bloom.
I want things—not material things, but the things the human soul yearns for. To define life on my own terms. To bring darkness into light. To love life with effervescence and help others do the same. So that the weight of the in-between and the pursuit of those goals isn’t agonizing to the point where we question, “Why do it?” and give up. Time will pass anyway. Why not choose to make the most of it?
I believe the most important part of this in-between space is connecting with myself and the source that inspires me to keep going. That reminder of something more—perhaps there is more to this life than what we try to fit into a neat square that’s post-worthy. I’ve learned that even in moments of anger and frustration, I can give my feelings light without suppressing them. For example, I recently experienced institutional betrayal after reaching goals I had set within an organization. Later, I was unrecognized and disregarded, as if I weren’t worthy of validation, despite earlier assurances of care for my well-being. This wasn’t the first time this happened. It dawned on me that I needed validation to feel valued. Recognizing this has given me a new perspective on how I show up in my life and how I want others to show up for me.
Like Martin Luther King Jr. said:
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’ No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.”
Perhaps this is where faith comes in—taking the first steps without seeing the whole staircase, learning and growing from experiences that help us set boundaries and recognize the respect we deserve. Giving our best without sacrificing ourselves in the process.
My in-between may look a little messy—caught between having enough time and not enough, having everything I need to succeed but still feeling incomplete. And even if I feel like I’m drowning some days or fumbling down life’s metaphorical stairs, I know that in this space I find my strength and passion to keep moving forward. For the never-ending evolution of this soul. I am enough. And you are too. Right now. And always.
Cheers to the in-between—the space that gets us to where we are truly meant to be.
Sustain & Bee | Sostiene & Sée 